MLIA Stories

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Today, I got a take home test in Trig back. There was a question that said "How high was the worker on the roof?" When I had been doing this question, I had been in an anti-math mood and had written "I don't know, what was he smoking?". I got full credit and a smiley face. MLIA

Today, I was walking into my college's student center when I noticed a blind student with a guide cane a few paces in front of me. A few seconds later a girl rudely pushed her way between the blind student & the friend he was walking with to get into the building. The blind student started walking faster behind the girl & proceeded to hit her feet with his guide cane tripping her up over & over again. He played it off like it was an accident & he was just trying to get around, but the grin on his face told me otherwise. MLIA

The other day I was at work and a guy came through my check lane. Out of habit I asked how he was doing and he said "good." Then I realized that he was buying a box of tampons and a bar of chocolate. I think he lied. MLIA

The other day, I had my wisdom teeth out, and I was on some pretty good drugs. I called my professor to tell him that I wasn't going to be in class, and I thought I left him a normal message. Today I came back, and he played it for the entire class. Apparently I'm secretly deathly afraid of buses, feeling rather like a blue monkey, and was also looking forward to going to the fair with him next week. Also, I offered to sell him one of my teeth. MLIA

Today, I was looking through my drawing from elementry school when I came Across a blank piece of white paper with a check plus on it. Apparently we had to draw pictures of winter. I handed in a blank paper and said it was a blizzard. Brilliant and Lazy.MLIA

Today, I looked in the mirror and saw a stain on my shirt. I spent ten minutes trying to remove it before I realized it was a stain on the mirror. MLIA.

Today I went over to my boyfriends house to surprise him when I saw him digging a hole big enough for a human. When I asked him what was going on he told me his neighbnors had been peeping on him and he wanted to spook them. Then the grabed my shoulders and said'go along with it" then he pretend head butted me and threw me into the ditch and started to fillit up. The screams from next door? Priceless.MLIA

Today, I was painting outside and spilled some paint on the grass. It made a cool pattern so I stared at it for a while. It occurred to me that I was watching paint dry and grass grow at the same time. MLIA.

Today, I attended a co-worker's wedding. A little boy who looked about 6 was coming down the aisle and he took two steps, stopped, and turned to the crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side), put his hands up like claws, and roared. Step, step, ROAR, step step, ROAR, all the way down the aisle. The crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit. The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing and was almost crying. When asked what he was doing, he sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear." MLIA

Today, my youngest son asked me where babies came from. I told him the old fable that a stork delivered babies to doorsteps. He then shouted "NO! You are so wrong!!!" and started to tell me how babies were actually made. I don't know what's worse; the fact my five year old son knows where babies come from or that he believed I didn't. MLIA.

Today, I got an idea. I am fighting in Afganistan and I know my girlfriend reads MLIA everyday. So, Chips. Will you marry me? Love always, Ethan. MLIA

Today my mother and I were riding the ferry and locked the car so we could go up stairs and get lunch when we discovered that the lock/unlock button on our key also worked on the car in front of us. Instead of going upstairs we got back in the car and spent the next 30 minutes making the couple in front of us think their locks were possessed. I love my mom. MLIA

Today, my mom and I were trying on clothes at the mall. Somewhere in the dressing room, someone lets out the biggest burp ever. We all giggle to ourselves until some lady cries out, DIANA! Thats not very ladylike! A little voice then responds, Im not a lady, Im five. That kid is going places. MLIA. <br />

Today, while pretending to listen in science I put my coloring book inside my notebook to make it look like I was takeing notes. When I wasn't paying attention my teacher walked behind me, informed me that I had colored Hello Kitty's bow the wrong color and then continued lecturing. MLIA

Today we got a physics test back that I just knew I failed. While taking the test, on the bottom of it I drew a tombstone that said RIP my Physics grade and the dates from the first day of class to that day. I even drew a small dead bouquet at the bottom. My teacher gave me 5 extra points for the drawing and I passed the test. MLIA.

Today, my brother came home for his first visit after 3 months of college. We had managed to add a second story, change most of the interior and redo the landscaping of the house. We asked the new neighbors to answer the door when my brother knocked. I've never seen him so confused. MLIA.

Today, I learned that the French word for watermelon is "Pastèque" which translates to "not steak". Thank you France, for clearing my confusion about the difference between watermelon and steak.MLIA

Today, I learned that the French word for watermelon is "Pastèque" which translates to "not steak". Thank you France, for clearing my confusion about the difference between watermelon and steak.MLIA

Today while drinking a carton of grape juice I happened to look at the ingredients list the main ingredient: Apple Juice. my past 20 years of drinking grape juice was a lie. MLIA.

Today while shopping I set something in the cart that wasn't on the list while my mom was looking in the other direction. When she asked how it got there, I said, "It must have fallen into the cart when we went by." She bought it for me. I'm glad the same excuse works when I'm 22 that did when I was 5. MLIA

Today my four friends and I were walking in a group at the mall. I saw tons of people walk by holding "Where's Waldo" posters and lookig everywhere. A second later, someone pushed into our group, and stood between my friend and I. I looked to see Waldo standing between us. He turned to me and said "I'm hiding." MLIA

Today, I tried replying to one of those "do not reply" e-mails. When I did, I got an e-mail back saying "We warned you, but we had to send the ninjas over to your house." I couldn't stop laughing. MLIA

Today, I was supposed to be defining vocabulary terms for English class, but, being lazy, I was simply googling them instead of using our textbook. When I got to the word "recursion", the first link that appeared was "did you mean recursion?" Curious, I clicked the link several times, but I kept returning to the same page. I thought my internet was broken until I looked up the definition of recursion: apparently it means "to revert back to an original state". Very funny, Google. MLIA

Go ahead and try it at the google search at the bottom of the page

Today, me and my sister decided to text our home number, just to hear an automated voice try and pronounce made up words, say the batman theme, and speak in various accents. On the last one we sent and were listening to, there was a pause at the end, and then a sudden burst of maniacal laughter. We were terrified before realizing that this was the automated text-messaging service's interpretation of "lol."
MLIA.

Today, I was going through my old stuff. I found a Mother's Day card I gave to my mom when I was in kindergarten. I wrote on it: "You have a heart full of dolphins." I still don't know what I meant by that, or why I wrote it. MLIA

Today, while I was taking a quiz in English class on vocab words I never studied, knowing that I did terrible, I decided to try writing 100% on the top and circle it like the teacher does just to see if he would go through the papers and skip over it thinking he already graded it. I got my paper back without any marks on it and 100% in the gradebook. Success

Today, I was going to my friend's house, and we were in the car with her step-father. My mom called my cellphone to ask where I was, and I told her I was in a car. She asked who I was with, and I replied 'Some guy who offered me candy and a good time.' <br />From the front seat, my friend's step dad yelled, "I told you to shut up back there! Don't make me tie you up!" <br />Best step-dad ever. MLIA

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